I have a little game I play with myself. It’s called Get Really Upset About Everything.
If you want to play, the rules are super simple. Here are the instructions.
Get Really Upset About Everything: The Rules
Have something bad happen. This could be a parent getting ill, losing a job, experiencing rejection of some kind, not getting enough sleep, being hungry, being broke. But it works best when it’s a special bad thing rather than a normal bad thing.
Be upset about the bad thing for a little while. Then, without making a conscious decision about it, just kinda decide that the thing should not upset you anymore.
Get upset about everything else. Or, choose one arbitrary thing, like the encroaching threat of Artificial Intelligence, climate change, or the ever useful, politics.
Get really intense about the thing and bore people about it. Extra points if you can get mad at anyone who isn’t as upset as you are about it because that offends you in some weird way that you know is wrong but can’t fully understand, yet.
Have a friend say, “Are you sure you’re that upset about consumerism right now, could it be that you’re actually still upset about [thing in step 1] which just happened a few days ago?
Feel weird and dizzy for a second. Then feel bad about the bad thing that happened some more.
This game never gets old! I’m very good at it, and you can be too with practice. Remember, for step 5 to work right, you need a friend who knows that the bad thing in item 1 happened to you. For that to work, you have to tell someone when bad things happen. (Life Coach Advice: tell people what’s up.)
What happens after step five, you ask? Well, that’s where today’s life coach prescription comes in handy:
FEEL BAD.
That’s all you have to do. Just feel bad. It will pass. But it will suck in the meantime. I think many advice-givers-for-money have some version of “do what I say and avoid feeling bad” as a core offering. But not your Free Life Coach. I’m here to tell you that when bad things happen you will feel bad.
Feeling bad about bad things. That’s life. Life is also about feeling good about good things. But nobody needs help with that.
Wishing you good feelings, (or at least feeling bad about the bad things instead of whatever your mind came up with in step 4),
I remain, your loyal,
Free Life Coach,
Sean Sakamoto
I so often find that fighting the bad feelings just makes them worse, which is why this is such good advice. Feel bad. Let it happen. Don't fight it, just trust that like all feelings, it will go away if left to itself. Hard to do! But, paradoxically, easier than the losing battle of trying to force the bad feelings to go away before their time.