If you were to ask me if I thought everything was going to work out, I’d say, “Maybe.” If you were to ask me if things were going to go sideways, I’d likely say, “Yep.”
When it comes to speculating on the downside, I’m drawn to the darkness like fly to a corpse. But unlike the fly, I have no business being there. It’s not good for me and it has nothing to do with the reproductive cycle of my species. THANK GOD.
It is so much harder to convince me that good things will happen than it is to get me to believe that we’re all doomed. My brain sees the absurdity in this, but I make most of my fear-based decisions with my gut. And my gut tells me that this — and by “this” I mean everything — is going to end in tears.
I’m not alone. We love dystopian movies. The media feeds us headlines filled with horrors because that’s what sells. When it comes to terror and mayhem, demand still outstrips supply. But utopian fantasy? Yawn. Good news human interest stories? Nope.
So what’s the workaround to this obvious design flaw in the human mind? Allow me to introduce the word maybe. It can be applied in two effective ways. When deployed against the prepper/tweaker in the base of my brain, it’s essentially a disempowering shrug, an “OK, doomer!” that defangs the venomous snake of despair. For example:
7:30AM: First light of day
MY BRAIN:
“Good morning! It’s too bad that AI is going to ruin our son’s job prospects and render all artistic efforts meaningless while accelerating income inequality, all in the midst of catastrophic climate change.”
ME:
Maybe.
(That’s the first strike, the second application is the lethal(ish) blow.
MY BRAIN:
What do you mean, maybe? Don’t you trust the science?
ME:
Maybe my hard work will pay off. Maybe things will work out.
MY BRAIN:
I can’t work like this. [Storms off]
It’s true folks. This little mantra: Maybe my hard work will pay off. Maybe things will work out. Is incredibly powerful. It disarms the certainty of my chittering mind. It stops the perseverating on bad outcomes. It gives the rest of me room to breathe. And what’s more, it’s actually true. Things might work out. They often do! My fears get things wrong so much more often than they get things right, and even when they are correct, they didn’t prepare me one darn bit. I get a prurient thrill out of imagining the worst, but there’s no payoff. Better to slap a “maybe” on it and get on with my day. Better yet, apply the maybe in a positive direction. Good things do happen. They’re happening right now.
Things might work out, folks. They could be fine. At least between now and your next meal anyway. Will bad things happen? Yes. Often. Will things work out? Maybe. And for me, maybe is good enough to get me out of bed. So put more maybe into the milkshake of your day and see if it doesn’t chase out the bitter taste of dread.
Have a good week, friends. May you get good news from a friend in the days ahead.
Until then, I remain,
Your Free Life Coach,
Sean Sakamoto
Love this.
Are you in my head???