One of the OG free life coaches, Buddha, was very much into meditation, from what I understand. I heard from all kinds of people, from smug and superior to down to Earth and sweet, that meditation was good for them.
I read a book recommended to me by my sister called “How to Meditate” by Pema Chodron. It was very simple and clear, except for the last couple of chapters where she started saying insane things.
But the first half the book was gold. You don’t need to buy it, here’s what I learned:
Sit still for 20 minutes.
Breath into your nose and out of your mouth.
Redirect your thinking back to your breath when you start pulling up old grudges, making plans, worrying about being broke in old age, or figuring out your grocery list.
That was basically it. You’ve heard all this before, I’m sure. But that’s the point of the Free Life Coach. We’ve all heard this before. I have to hear it over and over again, like most of us. And that’s why life coaching is a racket. They’ve got an audience of people who need to hear everything over and over, and they get paid each time they say it.
So, why meditate? In my case, I learned something huge. I had a major disappointment around a work project that I really thought was going to sell but then it didn’t. Usually, when this would happen, my mind would start up with all these stories:
You shouldn’t have tried.
You’re too old.
You suck at this.
At the time of this disappointment, my wife was in Japan visiting a friend. When we would video chat, her friend had three dogs in a wire kennel. Those dogs barked all through our calls. They drove me nuts, but I learned to ignore them so we could talk. My wife’s a peach, so any amount of barking is worth tolerating for a few minutes with her.
When this disappointment hit me and the ugly voices started up, I had the weirdest thought. I realized that those three voices were like the dogs in the kennel, barking and barking. They had no power other than to annoy me.
I said to them, “You can bark all you want, but I’m not taking you out for a walk.” I simply refused to believe them. I couldn’t shut them up, but I didn’t have to listen to what they said either.
That’s when I learned something huge: If I just let myself feel disappointment when I fail (which is often), but I don’t believe my cruel, cruel, mind, then I usually feel shitty for about a day at the most and then I just kind of get over it. But if I take those miserable dogs out for a walk, that burning feeling of failure can last weeks. Maybe months.
Do I meditate 20 minutes a day? Nope. I’m so lazy I can’t even sit still. But I go for 10 minutes at a time and usually do it three or so days a week. I’m always glad I did.
Good luck doing nothing, team. Let me know how it goes!