Beautifully put. I, too, fear the numbing effects of forcing myself to feel less. But I also get to have a beautiful life. It’s so hard to strike a balance. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with this. I’m glad I’m not alone!
“But I get to have a beautiful life.” This is exactly the conclusion I’ve also come to. And that’s A)overwhelming as hell, and B)NOT what most people want to hear. I’m constantly fending off the urge to scream “life is beautiful” into disaffected faces. I have to remind myself that I can’t drag anyone to enlightenment…and that’s something I didn’t understand when I was 20. Once I became aware of the beauty in the world, I assumed everyone would want to hear about it. They don’t. Now—in my mid-40s—I know that’s ok. I know that any efforts to explain it come out sounding like cheesy self-help hippy books.
I love your writing Sean, and I’ve always admired your sensitivity to the world. It’s a lucky thing for the rest of us that we get to read your emotional wisdom
Cammie, thanks for reading. You are a good one! IYou've always been tougher than me, which I love. I'm been fascinated by your perspective on the world and grateful that you share it through your photography!
Thanks for writing this Sean. I read all of these. This hit home and reminded me of a documentary about people with heightened sensitivities. A helpful idea was planted. Experiencing things differently than most people isn't a cause for alarm, sadness, or medication. In fact, the estimates are that upwards of 20% of the population are highly sensitive. That doesn't seem to qualify as an aberration. Some people are just like this. It's not only okay, but also a great strength in creative realms.
Sean, great essay. There are definitely some people who are super feelers. They become artists most of the time. And it happens not by their choice, they are just unable to continue to live without doing it. The load of experiences, insights and emotions is simply to heave to keep inside. Good luck with your writing journey.
Sean, this one ☝️ is soooo good. I fit the profile of an “HSP,” as it’s known and recognized in psychology now. I was dubbed “Sarah Heartburn (a ply on Sarah Bernhardt)” by my family growing up and mocked and chided for my “over reactions” as they were perceived my parents and sibs. I too left home early and went out into the world as far away as possible to “re-raise” myself. I surrounded myself by folks who accepted me the way I was and appreciated my insights and instincts. Ultimately, I found Randy and we created this lovely family with our sensitive boy/now man, Isaac.
You did the same with your beautiful family. I connected with you immediately when Randy introduced us all those years ago. He knew what we shared in common.
Sending you and the family much love ❤️. Thanks for this one. ☝️
Thank you so much! I had no idea there was a term for this in shrinkdom. What a great discovery. I’m going to look into it. I’m glad you are free to be you with such a loving family. And, I’m glad to know you.
I’ve felt this way as long as I can remember. Also did a lot of impulsive, self-destructive things when I was age 15-21, but many are experiences that I’ll forever cherish. Uncontrolled, it nearly destroyed me. Then, through the magic of aging and finding true love (who is JUST like what you described: she listens, absorbs it, and carries on relatively unbothered) I learned to manage it. Instead of being so overwhelmed by the beauty in the world that I couldn’t function, I can act as if I don’t see it. Instead of being so crippled by the suffering in the world that I’m miserable, I can act as if it doesn’t affect me…and often do such a good job of deliberately being thankful for the good things I do have that I’m right back to having to tamp *that* positivity down. (If it’s one thing I’ve learned is that most people don’t react well to another’s bliss.) In my most honest moments, I feel like I’m either completely nuts or that I’m the only one who’s not nuts.
The one thing I’ve never been able to fully come to terms with is how the act of acting normal wears on me over time. It’s just like pretending to be sick to get out of work. If you do it long enough and really commit to it, you really do start feeling sick. Next thing I know, instead of pretending to not see the Beauty, I really can’t see it. But I feel like it’s a price I have to pay. I can’t get through a regular day in the office if I’m so in awe of everything around me—things that are mundane to most people—that I’m a crying-for-joy mess of emotions. I *have to* dial it down. I suppose I’m at least thankful that I’ve learned how to do that.
I was just thinking the other day about our society and how we demonize feeling our feelings with shame and violence. Especially around men. Also, Are you a water sign?
I too sending healing energy to those in accidents I drive by, and prayers for healing to passing ambulances. I am a sensitive, an empath, and delighted by the honor this bestows upon me.
The wisdom comes (at least for me) in not being attached to the outcome of my meta prayers and my loving kindness.
When I was growing up, no one in my family helped me name this capacity for “sensitivity” and “extreme empathy” or gave me the tools to deal with it. So I sought out mindnumbing activities on my own at a very early age. Nowadays, I can see that those capacities are a gift, sometimes they need to be turned down just a notch, there’s room for everything.
Beautifully put. I, too, fear the numbing effects of forcing myself to feel less. But I also get to have a beautiful life. It’s so hard to strike a balance. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with this. I’m glad I’m not alone!
“But I get to have a beautiful life.” This is exactly the conclusion I’ve also come to. And that’s A)overwhelming as hell, and B)NOT what most people want to hear. I’m constantly fending off the urge to scream “life is beautiful” into disaffected faces. I have to remind myself that I can’t drag anyone to enlightenment…and that’s something I didn’t understand when I was 20. Once I became aware of the beauty in the world, I assumed everyone would want to hear about it. They don’t. Now—in my mid-40s—I know that’s ok. I know that any efforts to explain it come out sounding like cheesy self-help hippy books.
I love your writing Sean, and I’ve always admired your sensitivity to the world. It’s a lucky thing for the rest of us that we get to read your emotional wisdom
Cammie, thanks for reading. You are a good one! IYou've always been tougher than me, which I love. I'm been fascinated by your perspective on the world and grateful that you share it through your photography!
Thanks for writing this Sean. I read all of these. This hit home and reminded me of a documentary about people with heightened sensitivities. A helpful idea was planted. Experiencing things differently than most people isn't a cause for alarm, sadness, or medication. In fact, the estimates are that upwards of 20% of the population are highly sensitive. That doesn't seem to qualify as an aberration. Some people are just like this. It's not only okay, but also a great strength in creative realms.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXlOyGuvfVE
Mike! So great to hear from you. I agree, we pathologise far too much of the human condition. I’ll watch the video!
Sean, great essay. There are definitely some people who are super feelers. They become artists most of the time. And it happens not by their choice, they are just unable to continue to live without doing it. The load of experiences, insights and emotions is simply to heave to keep inside. Good luck with your writing journey.
Thank you!
Sean, this one ☝️ is soooo good. I fit the profile of an “HSP,” as it’s known and recognized in psychology now. I was dubbed “Sarah Heartburn (a ply on Sarah Bernhardt)” by my family growing up and mocked and chided for my “over reactions” as they were perceived my parents and sibs. I too left home early and went out into the world as far away as possible to “re-raise” myself. I surrounded myself by folks who accepted me the way I was and appreciated my insights and instincts. Ultimately, I found Randy and we created this lovely family with our sensitive boy/now man, Isaac.
You did the same with your beautiful family. I connected with you immediately when Randy introduced us all those years ago. He knew what we shared in common.
Sending you and the family much love ❤️. Thanks for this one. ☝️
KB
Thank you so much! I had no idea there was a term for this in shrinkdom. What a great discovery. I’m going to look into it. I’m glad you are free to be you with such a loving family. And, I’m glad to know you.
I’ve felt this way as long as I can remember. Also did a lot of impulsive, self-destructive things when I was age 15-21, but many are experiences that I’ll forever cherish. Uncontrolled, it nearly destroyed me. Then, through the magic of aging and finding true love (who is JUST like what you described: she listens, absorbs it, and carries on relatively unbothered) I learned to manage it. Instead of being so overwhelmed by the beauty in the world that I couldn’t function, I can act as if I don’t see it. Instead of being so crippled by the suffering in the world that I’m miserable, I can act as if it doesn’t affect me…and often do such a good job of deliberately being thankful for the good things I do have that I’m right back to having to tamp *that* positivity down. (If it’s one thing I’ve learned is that most people don’t react well to another’s bliss.) In my most honest moments, I feel like I’m either completely nuts or that I’m the only one who’s not nuts.
The one thing I’ve never been able to fully come to terms with is how the act of acting normal wears on me over time. It’s just like pretending to be sick to get out of work. If you do it long enough and really commit to it, you really do start feeling sick. Next thing I know, instead of pretending to not see the Beauty, I really can’t see it. But I feel like it’s a price I have to pay. I can’t get through a regular day in the office if I’m so in awe of everything around me—things that are mundane to most people—that I’m a crying-for-joy mess of emotions. I *have to* dial it down. I suppose I’m at least thankful that I’ve learned how to do that.
I was just thinking the other day about our society and how we demonize feeling our feelings with shame and violence. Especially around men. Also, Are you a water sign?
Thanks for reading! I’m Aquarius, but I don’t know anything about it.
I too sending healing energy to those in accidents I drive by, and prayers for healing to passing ambulances. I am a sensitive, an empath, and delighted by the honor this bestows upon me.
The wisdom comes (at least for me) in not being attached to the outcome of my meta prayers and my loving kindness.
When I was growing up, no one in my family helped me name this capacity for “sensitivity” and “extreme empathy” or gave me the tools to deal with it. So I sought out mindnumbing activities on my own at a very early age. Nowadays, I can see that those capacities are a gift, sometimes they need to be turned down just a notch, there’s room for everything.