Sean, thanks for this piece - two things popped for me. Passive aggressiveness, much as you describe amongst mid-western males, unfortunately is not all that unique. In South India we see this —what in our families we term as "taking unnecessary digs" - almost social conditioning. The other is a deeper issue of what constitutes acceptable intra-male behavior, esp when expressing softer emotions (empathy, caring, tenderness), the old "boys don't cry" trope. Unfortunate that we continue to perpetuate these.
Thanks for reading and for your comment. I'm sorry to hear that guys being mean to each other is a more universal practice. But as for its perpetuation, I'm certain that men like you are treating people with kindness and love, a nice counter-example to the cruelty out there.
Another fine piece you've written! This one has made me a think of a Tony Hoagland poem (beloved, heartbreaking) about how we train boys to become men, called "The Replacement" -- I'd paste it here rather than pasting the link, if I wasn't so sure that pasting it would eff up the italics, if it would even fit. https://www.ndsu.edu/pubweb/~cinichol/CreativeWriting/323/MiscpoemsHoagland.htm
Reminds me of the people I work with and by that I mean 800 middle schoolers
Sean, thanks for this piece - two things popped for me. Passive aggressiveness, much as you describe amongst mid-western males, unfortunately is not all that unique. In South India we see this —what in our families we term as "taking unnecessary digs" - almost social conditioning. The other is a deeper issue of what constitutes acceptable intra-male behavior, esp when expressing softer emotions (empathy, caring, tenderness), the old "boys don't cry" trope. Unfortunate that we continue to perpetuate these.
Thanks for reading and for your comment. I'm sorry to hear that guys being mean to each other is a more universal practice. But as for its perpetuation, I'm certain that men like you are treating people with kindness and love, a nice counter-example to the cruelty out there.
This should be required reading! Thanks, Sean!
Thank you!
Another fine piece you've written! This one has made me a think of a Tony Hoagland poem (beloved, heartbreaking) about how we train boys to become men, called "The Replacement" -- I'd paste it here rather than pasting the link, if I wasn't so sure that pasting it would eff up the italics, if it would even fit. https://www.ndsu.edu/pubweb/~cinichol/CreativeWriting/323/MiscpoemsHoagland.htm
Thank you for sharing that poem. WOW, it is very much in the same spirit. What a brutal and poignant piece.